Toxic Relationships
by Archemios
Summary: Set two years in the future, Ronnie Anne breaks up with Lincoln when she learns she will become his sister by marriage. When Lincoln learns some of his sisters are interested in him romantically, he begins to question the taboo. Rated M just in case. I really regret writing this. Enjoy.
1. Broken

**I could not resist doing an incest fic. With this show, honestly, how long until you ship Lincoln with one of his sisters? I'm sick, I know. Shipping Lincoln with three-to-four sisters is overdone, I know. The writing is shit. This fic is for S &Gs, but if you feel like critiquing it, knock yourselves out.**

 **So, without further ado, here's** ** _Toxic Relationships_** **.**

When does love between siblings become too much?

Lincoln Loud pondered this particular question a lot, lately. In recent years, as his body grew older and so did his sisters, he could not help but ask it in secret. What was love? Was it possible to become attached to a sibling in such a way? Was it healthy? Most of society said no, so that must be the case.

And yet, that troublesome question kept popping back into his mind. Ever since that fateful day, just a week before.

Lincoln had just turned 13. Lori and Leni had moved out years ago, but they visited frequently enough. After all, with so many birthdays spread throughout the year, how could they stay away for long? He had gotten a strange mixture of gifts – his favorite comics and video games, but also clothing and even a grooming kit. He had some fuzz on his lip, but not enough to consider shaving. His parents had begun discussing growing responsibility, and the impending, soul-crushing reality that was adulthood. His chores became more strenuous, the pay slimmer and slimmer.

Through it all, though, his sisters helped him. Lori was particularly encouraging, being the true adult of the group. Beyond that, Luan and Lynn kept him distracted from his woes with jokes and games. Luna's rock ballads were particularly uplifting. Yet through it all, it seemed Lucy's poetry was increasingly appealing. Dark, foreboding, and never once optimistic, it matched Lincoln's outlook of his approaching years.

Then Lori made the announcement that Bobby had proposed to her, and naturally she had agreed to marry him. The implications were alarming for Lincoln. Ronnie Anne, his longtime girlfriend-in-secret, was to become his sister through marriage. He was willing to overlook it, but Ronnie… She had become increasingly distant and unable to look at him. Their few talks were short and awkward.

"I'm sorry, Linc," he could still remember her saying, "I just can't get past the fact we're technically related."

"Well, not yet." Lincoln couldn't keep the desperation from his voice. Through the beatings and secrecy, the last two years with Ronnie Anne had been some of the best of his short life. "It's not like we're really related!"

"No…" Ronnie Anne agreed, "Our families wouldn't understand. Linc, do you know what incest is?"

She had whispered the taboo with such disgust that Lincoln knew at once it was bad. He shook his head.

"It's bad, Linc. It's illegal and frowned upon." Ronnie Anne crossed her arms, grimacing, "By marriage, it's not illegal, but… it's still wrong. A sin, they say."

"Oh, who's they anyway?" Lincoln scoffed, "Don't you love me anymore?"

"Of course I do!" the teen seemed appalled, "But it's just too weird. I'm sorry Linc, it's just too much for me. Siblings can't love each other. Not like that."

With that conversation, Lincoln's first love left him. He spent days agonizing over the breakup. A part of his soul had been ripped from him. He demanded sad songs from Luna, who only too sympathetically abided. He spent more and more time with Lucy and truly understood her poetry. He ignored Luan's comedy, as well as Lynn's sports. In the end, Ronnie Anne was right. They were siblings, now, and you just couldn't love a sibling like he loved her.

So society dictated, so it should be.

At least he thought so before yesterday.

He had been walking into Lucy's room, too depressed to remember to knock. All he had wanted was to lose himself in another one of Lucy's depressing poems, to forget about his day avoiding the love of his life. He didn't realize Lynn was there until it was too late. Just changing into her sports bra, she stopped dead at the same instant Lincoln walked in. They stared at each other, faces going red.

"I-I'm sorry!" Lincoln began to back out, averting his eyes.

"It's cool." Lynn tried to play it off as nothing, but the blush on her face said otherwise, "Nothing we haven't seen before."

"Yeah, when we were like babies." Lincoln cleared his throat.

"Look, it's all good." Lynn said, regaining some composure as she slid a shirt on, "See?"

"You're, um, not wearing shorts…" Lincoln found himself staring at her defined calves and thighs.

"My shirt covers my panties." Lynn shrugged, then smirked, "If it's making you too uncomfortable, I can find some shorts."

"Uh… Yes, please." The middle Loud sibling said, still staring at his sister's legs. When did they get so full?

"I gotta say, Lincoln, that look you're giving me is flattering." Lynn confessed as she bent to search through her drawers. Lincoln suddenly averted his eyes, face flushing with shame. Lynn frowned at the sight once she pulled her shorts up. "It's nothing to be ashamed of, bro."

"It's wrong." Lincoln remembered what Ronnie Anne had said.

"It's a natural curiosity." Lynn laughed, "I never got why it was wrong though."

"What?"

"Huh?" the older sister blinked, "Well, I don't know. I just never understood what was so bad about siblings being, well attracted to one another. You know, the body reveals a lot about a person's psyche. It's honest and gives into impulse, not like people's minds. That's why I keep mine so healthy."

"So you don't think siblings… loving each other is wrong?" Lincoln asked.

Lynn suddenly stopped and looked at her younger brother, a slight blush creeping across her face.

"W-well, no." she confessed, "Who cares if, like, one generation gets a little messed up? I don't understand genetics – that's Lisa's thing – but who cares if one brother and one sister, eh… you know. It can't mess things up _too_ much. So no, I don't really think it's wrong. Personally."

After a second of eyeing Lincoln, she asked, "Why do you ask?"

"No reason." The younger brother sighed, "Besides, it doesn't matter what I think. Everyone else knows it's wrong."

"True." Lynn muttered, "Mind if I ask you a personal question?"

"It's only fair since I asked you one."

Lynn looked conflicted. She opened her mouth, "Do…" then shut it, finally she asked a completely different question, "Why have you been so mopey lately?"

Lincoln blinked. He supposed he should have expected that question.

"I guess I owe you an explanation." He shrugged, "Ronnie Anne broke up with me."

"Whoa, what?" Lynn's jaw dropped. It was hard to keep their relationship secret when you had ten siblings. "No wonder you've been so depressed, dude. That thing was going on for, what, two years?"

"Yeah, just about."

"Why?"

"Because we're related now."

Lynn burst out laughing.

"Oh man, I'm sorry Lincoln!" Lynn wiped a tear from her eye, "She's more of a prude than I thought if being related by marriage is too much for her."

"Were you serious earlier, that there's nothing wrong with it?" Lincoln asked.

"I said I didn't see anything wrong with it." Lynn corrected, "Society… Society doesn't like it. Too much bad stuff can happen."

"Like what?"

"Ok, well, um." Lynn scratched the back of her head, "You'd have to ask Lisa for the genes part, but think of it like a sports team."

"Sports team?" Lincoln arched an eyebrow.

"Yeah!" Lynn grinned, "It's like one big family, right? Well, if two members start dating, it messes up the whole flow of the team. Plus, if they end on bad terms, it could really hurt the team. You see?"

"I… guess?"

Lynn's grin faded slowly. She beat a tattoo with her fingers before speaking up.

"I admit, when you asked about dating siblings, I'd thought you had one of us in mind." She laughed, feebly.

"Not… particularly." Lincoln confessed.

"But you have thought of it." Lynn chuckled, failing at hiding her blush entirely.

"Not really, no." Lincoln admitted, "The only girl I've ever thought of has been Ronnie Anne."

"Well, there's plenty of other girls out there." Lynn suggested, "You live with ten of them, after all."

Ever since that conversation, Lincoln's mind had been a storm at its implications. He wasn't sure how much had been real and how much had been hormone-infused delusions. Had Lynn blushed, or had he just seen what he subconsciously wanted? Was she really sanctioning an incestuous relationship, or was this more wishful thinking? A part of him was scolding internally, disgusted by what was overwhelmingly frowned upon by society. He, for himself, did not understand why, though.

He felt a familiar presence looming over him, the shock of it launching him forward.

"Lucy!" Lincoln gasped, clutching his chest.

"Hey." The youth responded in her monotone.

"Come to recite more poetry?" the boy asked. At this point, Lucy's sudden appearances shouldn't have come as such a surprise to him.

"Actually, I was hoping to comfort you." Lucy explained, "I overheard your conversation with Lynn yesterday."

"What?!" Lincoln's heart seemed to stop.

"Relax. I'm not judging you." Lucy said, "Or her."

"I-I wasn't worried." Lincoln smoothed his shirt, "How much did you hear?"

"Enough to know both of you are looking at each other as more than brother and sister." Lucy said, as unfazed as if she were discussing the weather, "Lynn was right. It's just your bodies being honest."

"So if you agree with it, why should I worry?"

"I never said I agreed – just that I don't judge you." Lucy corrected, "But I _do_ agree with Lynn's statements. I believe it is the strength of the individual to break against the conventions of contemporary society, to shatter the chains of tradition and custom."

"Uh… yeah." Lincoln cleared his throat.

"You should worry, though." Lucy continued, "Lynn and I might agree. Lynn might even be interested. I know others are."

"Wait, you do? Who?" Lincoln was already confused enough over a single sister loving him; the prospect of more sent his stomach into spasms.

"I hear a lot in the air ducts." Was Lucy's only response, "It's not my place to share those secrets."

"Fair enough." Lincoln agreed, "Can you at least tell me who won't approve?"

"Mom and Dad, to be certain." Lincoln winced; he hadn't even thought of that, "Ronnie Anne. Lori. Possibly Clyde."

"Clyde's cool with a lot of stuff." Lincoln didn't sound too sure.

"This isn't like most stuff, Lincoln. You know that." Lucy explained, "Still, I think you should pursue this. You should break convention and strive after what you really want. But you should first find _who_ you want."

"Is that something from your vampire romances?" Lincoln forced a chuckle.

"Remember what I've said, Lincoln." Lucy backed out of his room, fading into the shadows beyond the door.

Lincoln's mind raced. _Others_? Lynn wasn't the only one interested in him? Actually, Lucy had never confirmed that Lynn was interested… Still, Lucy was right that conventional society wouldn't accept it. Most of his siblings, and especially his parents, would probably condemn him if he even pursued this.

But he had experience with dating in secret.


	2. Shared Feelings

**I'd like to take this moment to apologize for the bad dialogue. I'd been fiddling with this idea** ** _before_** **I watched the show, so characters will be a little wonky. They're trying to sleep with each other, so they're wonky anyway. You get the point.**

"Stupid. Stupid. Stupid." Lynn chanted, banging her head against the wall, "Trying to flirt with Lincoln like that! That was stupid!"

"Sounds like it." Lynn jumped at Luna's voice. She hadn't heard the guitar tuning over her constant bashing. "These walls are really thin, y'know."

"S-sorry." Lynn paled, "How much-"

"Did I hear?" Luna grinned, "Enough." She walked in and closed the door behind her. "So you've got the hots for Lincoln, too?"

"What?!" Lynn scoffed, "No! I'd never – wait. Too?"

"I confess I've been eyeing him for a while." Luna's mood turned somber, "He's probably the best guy I've ever met."

"Yeah." Lynn nodded, "I've met dozens of guys in sports, but none of them are quite well, as cool as him."

"I know, right?" Luna laughed, "This family is plagued with good looks, man. I've shot so many guys down because they're just not as rockin' as Lincoln." She played a few chords, strangely subdued without an amp.

"It's not like I haven't tried looking for other guys." Lynn explained, "I mean, I have. They all just suck, though."

"Guys do suck." Luna said, plucking a string, "Not Lincoln, though. He's cool."

"And strong." Lynn added.

"Loyal." Luna noted.

"And funny." A third voice added.

"Yeah, he is pretty-" Luna chuckled, before turning to face the newcomer. Face paling, she broke a string.

"I say he makes me laugh out _loud_ , ha-ha!" Luan giggled, "Get it?"

"How… how long have you been listening?" Lynn asked.

"About ten minutes now."

"What?" Luna gaped, "I walked in, not five minutes ago!"

"Yes, but I was watching Lynn hitting the wall." Luan laughed, "Head-banging, right Luna?"

"How?!" both girls asked.

"With my cameras." Luan put her hands up, defensively, "I heard you guys talking about Lincoln, and well, I thought I'd join in."

"Don't tell me…" Luna trailed off.

"That I love Lincoln too?" Luan grinned, "He's the only guy I know who truly appreciates my comedy! Plus, he's not bad on the eyes, either." She winked.

"True." Lynn giggled.

"Dude, what's wrong with us?" Luna strummed on her guitar, "We're sick in the heads."

"Out of our gourds is more like it." Luan laughed, pitifully, "I've been dealing with this crush for almost a year. I thought I was the only one."

"It just happened for me." Lynn rubbed her temples, "At least, consciously."

"I've been groovin' to this crush for a few months, man." Luna looked sick with herself, "Not like anything could come of it."

A moment of silence passed.

"Hey Lynn?" Luan spoke up, "You mentioned you were flirting with Lincoln. Did he, um… seem interested?"

"Why don't you check the tape?"

"I have so many tapes, it'd take me forever to find it." Luan giggled, "I'm sure there's a joke there…"

"He didn't flirt back, but he did check out my legs." Lynn grinned.

"No way!" Luna gasped as Luan whistled in surprise. An angry riff.

"Don't be jealous." Luan nudged her roommate, "I've caught him staring at each of us."

"Really?" Luna asked, nicking her finger on the forgotten, broken chord.

"Well it's great that we're all cool with the fact we're in love with our brother, but this raises a new problem." Lynn said. Her sisters raised eyebrows in curiosity. "What are we going to do about it? He can't love all three of us."

"Why not?" Luna asked, searching for a spare string, "I'm cool with sharing him."

"Are you serious?!" Lynn seemed aghast, "That's just-"

"Disgusting?" Luan smirked, "Everything about this is, but look on the plus side! We'd be keeping it in the family! Get it?"

The other sisters groaned.

"Well I don't want to share him." Lynn said, "I'm in it to win it."

"Not like any of us can marry him." Luna restrung her guitar, "What's wrong with sharing him, anyway? We all love him."

"Which brings up the question of who else loves him." Luan tsked.

"Yeah, if the three of us feel this way, surely others do to." Lynn frowned at the prospect of more competition.

"I think we can safely rule Lola, Lana, Lisa and Lily out." Luna shrugged, "Lori, too, since she's getting married."

"I doubt Leni's interested in him." Luan added, "She's gone, anyway."

"That leaves Lucy." Lynn gasped, "They've been hanging out a lot lately."

"Lucy's ten." Luna pointed out, "What could she possibly know about love?"

"I hope you're right." Lynn eyed Lucy's bed, doubtfully.

"What we should really focus on is how to keep something like this secret from mom and dad." Luan said, "I doubt they'd support us."

"Yeah, I hadn't really put much thought into that." Lynn confessed, "I was more set on just jumping his bones."

Luna and Luan stared at their sister in surprise. Not that they hadn't been thinking something similar, but to actually voice it…

"More like jumping his bone-" Luan began.

"Anyway," Luna interrupted, "How are we going to start?"

The three girls sat silently, thinking up strategies. Finally, Lynn grinned wolfishly. She didn't want to share Lincoln, not really, but with her secret out she knew she'd have to or face blackmail. Trying to make the best of it, she leaned in conspiratorially.

"I think I've got a plan." She began whispering, watching the blushes creep across her older sisters' faces alongside their smiles.


	3. A Game

**We're reaching the end of what I have written so far.** **Thank Satan.** **If you all actually like this train wreck, I don't know, maybe I'll wrap it up.**

Lincoln threw himself onto the couch, exhausted from another day at school. The week was finally over, but he couldn't enjoy the weekend. Clyde was unable to hang out with him, already having obligations to visit family out of town. Ronnie Anne was still avoiding him. Only now did it dawn on Lincoln how few real friends he actually had.

"Hey Lincoln, I got a new game for us to play." Lynn's voice cut through the silence of his misery.

"Ugh…" he groaned, "I'd rather just lay here for a while."

"That's cool. You actually don't have to move much for this game." Lynn said, jumping onto the couch and forcing Lincoln over.

Now Lincoln's interest was piqued. It wasn't everyday Lynn discovered a new game, much less one that didn't involve excessive movement.

"Alright, so how do we play?" he asked.

"Oh, we can't play here." Lynn chuckled, "We have to meet the others upstairs."

"Others?" Lincoln blinked.

"Well yeah." Lynn shrugged, "Wouldn't be much of a game with two players."

"That's never stopped us before." Lincoln pointed out, "We play plenty of games by ourselves."

" _This_ game needs more than two players." The jock explained, "Just trust me. Get off your lazy rump and follow me."

Lincoln groaned again as he pushed himself off of the couch. He trudged up the stairs after an excited Lynn. Whatever this game was, it had better be good. As he walked he noticed how unnaturally quiet the house was.

"Where is everybody?" he wondered aloud.

"Lola and Lana dragged mom and dad to see some stupid movie." Lynn explained, "Lisa's giving a lecture at the local university on, uh… molecular biochemistry, I think."

"Figures." Lincoln chuckled, "What does that make? Five times this week?"

"Six, but who's counting?" Lynn shared in the laugh, "Ok, here we are."

She opened the door to Luna and Luan's room, of all places, and sure enough they were both there.

"So what kind of game are we playing?" Lincoln asked. He turned at the sound of Lynn locking the door.

"Oh… just a game." She smiled, coyly. That rarely ended well for him.

"It's cool, Lincoln." Luna grinned.

"Yeah, bro, just lay back and relax." Luan giggled.

"What kind of game, Lynn?" Lincoln asked, slight panic entering his voice. Did he forget one of their birthdays? He had the strangest sense they were about to lynch him.

"It's a kissing game." Lynn's smile turned into a wolfish grin.

Lincoln blinked.

"What?"

"It's simple." Luan explained, "We take turns kissing you while you're blindfolded, and you have to guess who it is."

Lincoln was silent for a long moment before bursting out into laughter.

"Oh man, you guys really got me!" he wiped tears from his eyes, "Luan, did you set this up? You must have! Oh man, it's…" he trailed off as he saw his sisters exchange strange looks. "Oh man, you guys are serious."

"Well, if you don't want to…" Luna sighed, strumming her guitar.

"I…" Lincoln blushed, "Sure."

It was obvious by the shock on everyone's faces that this had been the last answer any of the Loud children had expected. Even Lincoln looked surprised by the word leaving his mouth. The room filled with awkward silence as every face turned red.

"I want in." a familiar voice said.

The four Loud children let out a collective scream before realizing it was only Lucy.

"Lucy!" they exclaimed.

"Where did you even come from?" Lincoln asked, "Wait, let me guess. Air ducts?"

"Next door." Lucy corrected, "These walls are thin."

"I told you." Luna whispered to Lynn.

"Wait, wait, wait." Lynn scowled, " _You_ want in, too? Great! More competition."

"You're only ten!" Lincoln pointed out.

"And I've had a crush on you since I was eight." Lucy said, "I'm good at hiding my emotions."

"I'll say." Luan muttered.

"Well then, let's get started." Luna said, "Before somebody else shows up."

Lincoln gulped as his eyes were covered in cloth. He had kissed Ronnie Anne before, of course, but to kiss a blood sister… It seemed so strange. A romantic ballad was strummed out on Luna's electric guitar some distance away, given power by an amp. It was safe to assume Luna wouldn't be the first up. There was a particularly long pause – longer than Lincoln had expected.

"Um, we don't have to do this if none of you want to." He said.

"It's not that, bro." Luna said, "The others are playing rock-paper-scissors to decide who goes first."

"Shush!" Lynn hissed, "I'm in the zone!"

Safe to rule Lynn out, too. She would probably cheer at her 'victory' and then Lincoln would know for sure who it was.

Finally, with a growl of frustration, Lynn fell silent. That only left Luan and Lucy. First round would be easy, given Luan's braces. Sure enough, he felt the metal-laced teeth nip against his lips before her own made contact. The kiss was short and pleasant, almost bubbly in its intoxication. Lincoln felt himself get heady. It was at once different and similar to his kisses with Ronnie Anne.

"L-Luan?" Lincoln cleared his throat.

"How'd you know?" Luan asked.

"B-braces." Lincoln couldn't help but stutter.

"I thought I'd make it easy for you." Luan giggled, "Next round you won't be so lucky."

"Next contestant. Luna, get in on this." Lynn said.

Another round of silence broken occasionally by Luan's jokes and collective groaning. Finally, a second pair of lips brushed against Lincoln's. It was a soft, gentle motion, puckering and un-puckering a few times. Surely something so gentle couldn't be hard-rocking Luna or aggressive Lynn. It also seemed rather inexperienced, suggesting youth.

"That's gotta be Lucy." Lincoln said, not altogether unpleased with the kiss.

"Wrong, dork." Lynn laughed at his expense, "That awesome kiss was courtesy of a born winner."

"Awesome?" Lincoln's chuckle was cut short by a punch in the ribs. Definitely Lynn.

"Last turn for this round, I guess." Lynn said. Obviously whoever he chose would leave only one sister left.

"I'm sure either of us will make it count." Luna smirked.

A few seconds passed and then Lincoln's mind exploded. The kiss was sudden, unexpected, and completely passionate. Lips moving in a dance, tongue forcing entrance, he lost himself to it. It was a contest, one of yielding and submitting as well as assaulting and conquering. His mind whited out, and all too soon it was over.

"Oh man, I didn't know we could use tongue!" he could barely hear Lynn saying.

"L-L-L-Lu-Lu…" Lincoln stuttered, unable to arrange his thoughts.

"A little tongue-tied, right Lincoln?" Luan asked, "Get it?" A collective groan.

"Close enough, bro." Luan grinned victoriously; it would be impossible for Lucy to top that. "How was it?"

"A-amazing." He confessed.

"Well, Lucy?" Lynn said, "Your turn."

Lincoln waited, wondering why he still had to wear the blindfold. Finally, he felt Lucy's cool shadow fall over him, her lips a hair's breadth from his own. Quietly, almost too quiet to be heard, she spoke.

"I've been waiting a long time for this."

Then, to his surprise, she nipped his neck. The pain was short and gave way to unique pleasure. With little bites and pecks, Lucy worked her way back towards his mouth. The actually kiss was as passionate as Luan, yet with all the delicacy of Lynn's and the finesse of Luan. Somehow, someway, this ten-year-old girl could pull off the combined effort of her older sisters. Lincoln wasn't the only one to notice. Lynn was muttering curses. Luan gave an impressed whistle while Luna played a mellow riff.

"Wow." Was all Lincoln could say.

Then something altogether unbecoming happened.

"Pitching a tent, Linc?" Luan asked, "Get it?"

"Shush!" Luna nudged her sister in the ribs.

"It's so big." Lucy observed, as monotone as ever.

"I-I've seen bigger." Lynn's voice betrayed the lie.

"Oh god, I'm sorry!" Lincoln's face flared in the most shameful hue of red. He covered himself and sprinted for the door, holding back tears of embarrassment.

"Wait, Linc!" Luna called out, but it was drowned out by the door slamming.

His sisters exchanged pained looks with one another. Honestly, had they really expected any other outcome? The entire situation was nothing less than overbearing for one so young, especially when confronted with unfamiliar emotions driven by hormones. Especially with the weight of human culture glaring down disapprovingly.

Surprisingly, Luan wasn't the one to break the somber silence.

"So…" Lynn said slowly, "Who do you think won?"


	4. Hell Week

**Here's the last part I have finished, so far. It's short, but I wasn't really planning these dribbles when I wrote them. I'll wait for some reviews to see where to take this... work.**

Lincoln dried his tears and splashed cold water on his face. He looked at himself in the bathroom mirror, taking deep breaths to calm himself. He forced a smile onto his face.

"What are you getting so worked up about?" he asked himself, "You act like you've never had a boner before."

He never had, not while kissing anyway. Ronnie Anne had never inspired such a… physical response when they kissed. It disturbed him that his sisters – especially one only ten years of age – could arouse him so. It was wrong! That's what everyone was saying.

Yet his four sisters had agreed to it… They had arranged it. It was completely consensual. Lynn and Lucy had told him that the body reacted honestly where the mind tried to evade. If he was reacting this way, if they were all okay with it, then why was it wrong? He felt his throat go dry. This was a dangerous door to open, and even a thirteen-year-old could see that.

"Lincoln?" Luna's voice could be heard through the door, "Bro, are you alright?"

"Y-yeah." Lincoln lied, wondering how to get himself to regain composure with an erection. Why wasn't it going down yet? "I think I'm going to shower.

"That's cool." Luna said, "As long as you're alright."

"Want one of us to join you?" Lynn asked. She grunted as someone elbowed her in the ribs.

"Ignore her, Linc." Luna said, "We don't want you doing anything you're uncomfortable with."

"I'm fine, really." Lincoln had regained control of his voice, "It was… it was fun. I'd like to do it again, sometime."

He really meant that. Perhaps he should listen to his body more. There was surprised silence from the other side of the door.

"Well, heck, if you liked that game, I've got a few more in mind." Lynn chortled.

"Maybe later." Lincoln said, blushing as he realized what he had agreed to. A chorus of catcalls answered him as the mood improved. "Alright, alright! I'll see you girls after my shower."

Then, much quieter:

"A nice, cold shower."

The shower was soothing, if a little chilly, but Lincoln found himself unrelieved. The memory of his sisters' various kisses, all expertly and lovingly applied in their own ways, tortured him. He felt the flames of passion roaring in his heart and loins, and no amount of cold water was helping put out that arousal. A voice in the back of his mind, once in the fore, was screaming:

 _What's wrong with me?!_

This voice was altogether drowned out with memories of those sensuous feelings. His mind was plagued by images only vulgar puberty could create. That reduced voice of reason knew he, as a brother, should not take such interest in his sisters.

Eventually he gave into the desire – the aching need – for sexual gratification.

It wasn't enough.

He turned off the shower after an hour and still felt no relief. Worse, his parents were home which made seeking an alternative impossible. Their very presence compounded his feelings, their disapproval hanging over his head and only reminding him of how wrong this whole situation was. He suffered under their paternal and maternal love, longing for time alone to explore these taboo feelings.

It was worse at dinner, with his older sisters eyeing him seductively whenever their parents weren't watching. Only Lucy could be counted on to act as if nothing out of the ordinary were occurring. Twice his parents asked if he had a fever, curious as to why his face was so flushed.

Aside from that, dinner topics ranged from Luna's post-grad plans from Lola and Lana gushing over the movie they had seen. Lynn talked a little about her upcoming game against a rival school – sliding in a remark of how she hoped her brother would cheer her on, which her parents thought was sweet. If they only knew, Lincoln rued.

Finally, he was alone in his room, still unrelieved. To his credit, at least, he did not fantasize over Lucy. She was too young to arouse him sexually.

 _Well,_ he thought, _at least I'm not a pedophile…_

That still didn't explain why her kiss was so alluring, though. Maybe it had something to do with the blindfold, the mystique of it all adding to the overall atmosphere. Maybe it was just one good thing after another adding up. Lincoln scowled. What _would_ Ronnie Anne think of this? If the mere thought of dating a brother by marriage was enough to sicken her, he could only imagine what the thought of dating (and Lincoln was imagining far worse than _dating_ …) a blood relative would do.

And, most disturbingly, he found he didn't care what she thought. He didn't care what his parents or his other siblings thought. If it was only he who was affected, oh, he'd care. Yet he was but one of five – five siblings all lost to lust for each other. He knew peers at school who would kill to date any one of those four (even a few depraved souls interested in Lucy). He knew they'd look at him with a mixture of disgust and awe that he, their brother, had captured their hearts.

Which only brought up the question of how? How on earth did he win over not even one, but four of his sisters? What were the odds of that? It was almost as if some external entity was warping Lincoln's very reality, forcing events to unfold that normally wouldn't occur.

No, he'd just been listening to too much of Lucy's poetry. The circumstances were bizarre, though. Too bizarre to bring up with even his closest friend, Clyde – although it pained him that he couldn't share it. He had the feeling that, somehow, talking about the situation would help him sort it out.

Eventually, after what felt like agonizing hours, sleep mercifully took him.


	5. Weakening Resolve

**Wow. I wasn't expecting so many follows and favorites so quickly. Alright, here's the next installment.**

Finally, something wonderful happened. A time when his parents would be busy with work, but he and his sisters would be free. That glorious time in the school year known as Fall Break. Lori and Leni stopped by for Thanksgiving, but otherwise the Loud household was sparsely populated. Lola and Lana took advantage of the autumn weather to drag mom and dad to the park, while Lisa took the free time to cook up new inventions.

Ironically, though, the very sisters Lincoln sought were largely preoccupied throughout the week. Lynn was practicing for upcoming games most of the week. Lucy accompanied their parents and younger siblings to the park – for inspiration to write her poems, she claimed. Luna had a concert she was dying to go to. Luan finally caught a gig at the local comedy club as an opener and was stressing over it.

This all left Lincoln unnaturally alone with his confusing feelings and no one to talk to. Finally, he sucked it up and went to talk to them individually. He went outside, following the crack of ball on bat. Sure enough, there was Lynn practicing her batting. And pitching.

"Hey Lynn." Lincoln said, "Isn't baseball in the spring?"

"Yeah, but you can never be too prepared." She chuckled, "What's up, bro? Come to help me train?"

"Not really." He confessed, "Listen, about last week…"

"Ah." Lynn grinned, " _That_ kind of training."

"No, I…"

"That kiss really did a number on you, right?" Lynn had dropped her bat and was circling Lincoln, feeling his shoulders, "You feel that adrenaline building? The raw power of instinct driving you on?"

Much quieter, as she leaned in close to his ear,

"You want to explore that impulse, don't you Linc?"

"I mostly just wanted to talk."

"Oh." Lynn sounded disappointed, "Well, it's not as active as I'd like, but whatever helps you cope. So what's on your mind?"

"You don't find it a little weird that the five of us are… involved?" the younger brother asked, trying to phrase the question properly.

"Of course it's odd." Lynn laughed, "If it wasn't odd, every family would have something like this going on. Doi."

"I'm serious, Lynn." Lincoln sighed, "Four sisters sharing one brother?"

"To be fair, I'm only sharing you for _now_." Lynn picked up a basketball, "I intend to _win_ this thing."

"So it's all just a game?" Lincoln couldn't keep the sadness from touching his voice.

"Linc," Lynn was looking at him, face softened, "I love you. Not just as a brother, but as a dude. No other guy in this world makes me feel like you do. Everything is a contest to me – everything's a game – and you're the ultimate prize."

"Wow." The boy blinked, "That… that means a lot coming from you."

"Yeah, well… don't expect that mush often." Lynn snorted, turning back to her hoops to hide the blush on her face, "You're more than just a trophy to me, Linc. I care about you. Like, a lot."

"I care about you too, Lynn." Lincoln said, smiling.

"More than the others?" she asked, a little too hopeful.

"I'm not sure…" the boy confessed, "I can't choose between you guys. It's not fair."

"You'll come around." Lynn smirked, picking up her ball and tossing it toward Lincoln, "Sooner or later, I'll win you over."

Lincoln smiled, unsure of what to say. He left his sister to her practice, his thoughts now laden with the reality of the choices he was faced with. Completely ignoring the fact they were all related, he knew he could only really choose one – if any. Even if society and family permitted such a sacrilegious union, polygamy would be pushing too far. Despite her selfish motivations, Lynn was right; in the end, only one girl could lay claim to Lincoln.

For the longest time he had been so sure it would be Ronnie Anne. Now he was forced to decide between four sisters, all of whom he loved desperately; none of which he loved as passionately as they appeared to love him. He was thirteen. The only romantic thoughts he had had all revolved around a girl who simply did not love him anymore. In truth, he feared a relationship with any of his sisters; if things went south like with Ronnie Anne, how badly would it damage their family?

Without realizing it, Lincoln had wandered back into the house where Luan and Luna were arguing. Unsurprisingly, Luna had and been playing her guitar exceptionally loud – something she always did in the week building up to a concert. Luan, meanwhile, was on the verge of an anxiety attack from her upcoming performance. She wanted quiet to concentrate on her jokes.

Their argument petered out when Lincoln arrived, and both faces flushed in embarrassment.

"Are you girls alright?" Lincoln asked.

"Yeah, Linc." Luan said.

"We're just having some…" Luna searched for an appropriate phrase, "…creative differences."

"They're some pretty noisy differences." Lincoln smirked.

"More like _loud_ differences." Luan furrowed her brow, "I've already used that joke. I need better material."

"Luan, your material is great." Lincoln said.

"I've been trying to tell her that, but she doesn't believe me." Luna rolled her eyes, "There's no convincing her, and it's cutting into my vibe."

"Your 'vibe' is messing with my muse!" Luan shot back, "How can I make art when I can't even think?"

"It's never stopped you before." Luna said, "Some of your best jokes have been written to my jamming!"

Lincoln watched his older sisters attack each other. He couldn't stand seeing his sisters fight, so he spoke up.

"You two have lived together for as long as I can remember!" he interjected, "Surely you two have worked together, either helping each other with songs and jokes, or just being there for the other, right?"

Luna and Luan looked at each other, faces flushed in shame.

"I know you're nervous, Luan, but you have nothing to be worried about." Lincoln said, holding his sister's hand, "You've got this in the bag! They wouldn't have hired you for the gig if they didn't think you were funny."

"Y-yeah." Luan's eyes were fixated on their hands held together, "That's true. They wouldn't hire me otherwise."

"And Luna, you're a really talented musician. I don't doubt you've inspired Luan often, but…" Lincoln shrugged, "she's nervous. I think she needs your support, right now, more than your music."

"I guess my music can get a little _too_ loud." Luna muttered, embarrassed, "Sorry Luan. I know your nerves must be a bloody mess right now."

"It's ok." Luan sighed, "I'm overthinking it. Still, I'd appreciate it if you'd play something calmer."

"You want me to play?" Luna looked surprised.

"Your music is really calming, sometimes." Luan confessed, "When it's not shaking the walls."

"Thanks, Linc." Luna smiled, sheepishly, "It's weird taking advice from our younger brother, but you're pretty mature, man."

"I guess you could say he wears the pants in the family." Luan smirked. Both Luna and Lincoln couldn't resist snickering at that remark. "I've still got it."

"Was there anything you wanted help with, bro?" Luna asked, "You look troubled."

"Huh?" Lincoln blinked, "Oh, nothing really."

"Come on, we're your sisters." Luan offered, then quieter, "And then some."

Lincoln blushed.

"Well, I'm just not sure how to feel about all this." He confessed, "I'm going to have to choose one of you, eventually."

"No you won't." Luna said, but the frown betrayed the lie, "We can share you."

"No, you can't." Lincoln shook his head, ruefully, "I don't want a harem; I can't handle that."

"That reminds me of a joke." Luan tried to make light of the situation, "What's the problem with dating twenty-nine-year-olds?"

"Luan, I'm serious." Lincoln frowned, but curiosity got the better of him, "What?"

"There's twenty of them!" Luan beamed. Luna cracked up and Lincoln struggled to keep a straight face.

"Ok, that was pretty good." Lincoln confessed, "But seriously, I can't date all of you. I can't think of anybody that could handle that many relationships at once! Let alone a thirteen-year-old."

"Yeah, I guess that is pretty heavy stuff to put on a kid your age." Luna admitted.

"Then which of us gets him?" Luan asked the million-dollar question.

The two older sisters glared, challengingly at each other mere moments after having reconciled.

"I have an idea." A new voice added, sending all three siblings into shock.

"Lucy!" Lincoln exclaimed, "I thought you were out with mom and dad!"

"We're back, now." Lucy explained, "By the way, you might want to keep this kind of conversation down. The walls have ears."

"They aren't the only ones." Luna muttered.

"I knew it!" Lynn slid into the room, glaring at her younger roommate, "I knew you were going to try and sneak some alone time with Lincoln, you… sneak."

"Mom and dad are in the house?" Lincoln whispered.

"Don't worry; they're downstairs." Lucy shrugged.

"So what was your plan, Lucy?" Luan asked.

"We each date Lincoln." The goth explained, "One date each, and Lincoln decides who to go with."

"Oh yeah, no pressure." Lincoln scoffed.

"Don't worry, Linc." Lynn said, shifting her gaze between her older and younger siblings, "We'll be civil about it. None of us would blame you."

"I'm down for whatever, man." Luna agreed, "It'd break my heart, but I wouldn't hold it against you."

"Agreed." Luan said, simply, also eyeing her sisters in what was becoming a standoff.

"There will be no bad blood between us, Lincoln." Lucy agreed.

Lincoln was partially relieved that there would be no ill will against him for choosing one sister. Seeing his sisters glaring challenges at one another, though, he became worried about any bad blood brewing between them. Just as Lynn's sports team analogy had predicted, there were fissures already blooming.

Lincoln gulped at the ill omen.


	6. Looks Bad

**This fic is running on a little too much. I'm going to try and end it quickly before it crashes and burns. Enjoy this installment, I guess. Took some suggestions from reviewers, so it might be a little wonky.**

The miracle about Fall Break was that that they had five days free while their parents had to work. This gave Lincoln an entire day to spend with each of his loving sisters, and a day to decide between them. No pressure or anything.

Lincoln had had to play an impartial role between his sisters, as each argued why they should get first dibs to dating him. After much debate, the schedule had evolved through matches of rock, paper, scissors. Eerily, Lucy had won each match as if she could _see_ her opponent's move before they made it. Lynn, naturally a competitive soul, dominated as a close second. Luna had managed to beat her older sister by a hair, both having been equally challenged against the other. Spending so much time together, they could predict the other's move – and thus how to counter it. In the end, Luan was in last place.

Without any intention of doing so, Lincoln was to date his sisters from youngest too oldest. Lincoln wasn't sure what to expect with his younger sister. A mere ten-years-old, Lucy was incredibly mature for her age and endowed with a creative spirit that surpassed most adults. A poet and horror aficionado, Lincoln suspected their date would revolve around one of those subjects. Fortunately for them, Lucy's competitors were keeping the other children occupied – a task expected from each of them in turn.

Despite hesitation, Lincoln knocked on the door to Lucy and Lynn's shared room.

"Enter." Lucy's muffled voice responded.

Lincoln obliged and did a double take, eyes widening. Lucy was wearing some gothic Lolita cosplay. Although he had never gotten into that particular genre of manga, Lincoln had always had a soft spot for the overall… cuteness of it. A simple black and white dress, not quite a maid's outfit, with brass buttons and red ribbons. The color was surprising, considering Lucy's strict monochromatic fashion sense. The strangest thing of all was Lucy's hair, pushed back with a headband, revealing the upper half of her face.

"Your eyes are blue." Lincoln noted, stupidly. He'd never actually _seen_ them until now.

"So are yours." Lucy pointed out, a wry smile cracking her pale façade.

"Sorry, it's just I've never seen them before." Lincoln explained, blushing in embarrassment, "They're, um, very pretty."

Lucy's face heated up, adding color to her otherwise pale face. Despite this, she maintained her nonchalant grace with all the ability of a woman three times her age. She unfolded her legs from under her, revealing long, laced boots. The slenderness of them made Lincoln's throat dry.

So much for not being a pedophile.

"What, uh, what did you have planned for the date?" he asked. God, how weird it was to think of it as a _date_.

"I'm not sure, to be honest." Lucy confessed, "I was thinking of watching vampire romance with you, but I realize that's something only I'm interested in."

Lincoln couldn't argue with that.

"So I did a web search for anime that might interest both of us." Lucy continued, reaching for her laptop, "I found something action-filled featuring vampires. I figured both of us would enjoy it."

"Yeah, that sounds pretty cool." Lincoln smiled – anime was always good with him. He read the title and his smile faded. "Lucy, this anime is _really_ violent. Like, a lot of blood."

"I love blood." Lucy replied.

The boy shrugged his shoulders; she had probably been exposed to much worse in her various horror movies and vampire romances – not to mention her library of gothic literature. He sat down on the bed next to her and she scooted in closer, leaning her head on his shoulder. She was so… small. Lincoln couldn't help but wrap his arm around her. She exhaled, contentedly.

"Alternatively," she said, "we could just sit like this for a while."

"Y-yeah." Lincoln agreed. It was very relaxing.

They sat like that for nearly an hour before finally moving. Lucy tried not to show her reluctance, but could not restrain it. Even Lincoln felt his heart sink at breaking the contact. He'd never truly appreciated how pleasant Lucy was to be around. She was usually gloom and doom, but now she was so affectionate. Suddenly, an idea struck him.

"Hey Lucy…" he began, "You're not acting different around me because you feel the need to, are you?"

"Am I acting different?" Lucy actually sounded surprised.

"You're wearing a bright color." Lincoln pointed out, "Plus, you're acting very… happy."

Lucy smiled, gently.

"You make me happy." She explained, "For as long as I remember, you've been the only person who can make me happy."

"But this costume," the teen rubbed his head, blushing slightly, "you're not putting on airs or anything, are you?"

"Do you not like it?" hurt crept into her monotone.

"No! I love it!" Lincoln said quickly, blush deepening, "I-I just don't understand why you're wearing it. You never wear stuff like _that_."

"I've never really been comfortable cosplaying, before." Lucy confessed, "Around you, though, I feel like I can unwind and… be myself." A blush had spread across her face. "If it makes you uncomfortable, I can change."

"No, it's fine." Lincoln smiled, disarmingly, "I've always wanted to cosplay, too, but never had the guts to. I think it's really cool that you do it."

"Th-thanks." Lucy stuttered, blush spreading. She stayed silent for a moment, before inhaling sharply. "Do you wanna make out?"

Lincoln blinked, smile still on his face. "What? What happened to the marathon?"

"We can't really cuddle in the living room. Someone would see us." Lucy shrugged, "I don't have a TV in here. So, let's make out."

"Ok." Lincoln agreed without thinking. The suggestion had come so suddenly and without preamble, he wasn't sure how to react.

"Cool." Lucy clearly hadn't expected the suggestion to take, either.

The two sat on the bed, awkwardly positioning themselves in an effort to get comfortable. Finally, they collapsed onto each other, legs entwined, with Lucy holding herself mere inches above a pliant Lincoln. The teen gulped at the closeness, feeling his sister's breath dance across his lips. He licked his own in anxiety.

Lucy moved in and Lincoln closed his eyes. Just as with their first kiss, she gently bit his neck, raking her teeth across his flesh as she worked her way up to his face. Their lips barely made contact before a knock at the door drove them apart. Almost immediately, Lucy jumped across the bed, tumbling headfirst over the headboard. Lincoln gasped so forcefully that he rolled over the side, dragging the bedding with him.

"Who is it?" Lucy asked, panic seeping into her monotonous voice.

"Like, it's me!" Leni's voice filtered through, closely followed by Luna.

"Sorry sis, she wanted to see Lincoln." The rocker panted, "She's pretty quick!"

Lucy groaned. She had forgotten that Leni was coming over for Fall Break. Wait, why'd she'd want to talk to Lincoln.

"Come in." Lucy permitted.

Almost at once, Leni barged in, an exhausted Luna, Luan and Lynn in tow. Clearly each sister had given their all to stall Leni's progress – and just as clearly, they had all failed. Lucy was surprised Lynn, in particular, had been unable to match Leni's stamina.

"Why are you looking for me, Leni?" a flush-faced Lincoln managed while shoving himself out of sheets.

"Oh, no reason." Leni said, "I was just wondering why you and Lucy were cuddling, was all."

Every face paled.

"What are you talking about, Leni?" Lincoln laughed nervously, "We weren't cuddling!"

"I saw it through the window." Leni pointed at the blatantly open window, "You were cuddling."

"We were… um…" Lincoln stalled.

"Playing a game." Lynn threw in.

"Really?" Leni beamed, "I _love_ games! How about we all play? Wait, was it the kissing game?"

Lynn groaned. They'd been had!

"Who told you about that?" Lincoln asked, throat parched.

"Lisa." Leni said, nonchalant.

"How on Earth does Lisa know?!" Luna exclaimed.

"Because," Lisa lisped as she approached the doorway, "I'm always observing. You were all acting rather intimate, so I perused Luan's video collection to collect data."

"There's like a million tapes!" Luan said, "How did you find _that_ one?"

"My above-average mind can process information at an accelerated rate, so I increased the frame rate of the videos." Lisa explained. Seeing the blank expressions on her siblings' faces, she sighed. "I fast-forwarded them."

"Why'd you tell Leni?" Lynn asked, "Why not rat us out to mom and dad, or something?"

"I had to tell somebody." Lisa shrugged, "But I find this experiment… interesting. It's not every day you have an opportunity to study incestuous relationships in a micro-environment. I'm interested in the psychological ramifications, as well as whether you will compete for – or share – Lincoln's affections."

"Definitely compete." Lynn said. Very likely that was the only part of Lisa's explanation she understood.

"I want to join in!" Leni beamed.

"Leni, you know what we're doing is…" Luna struggled to explain, "We're not loving our brother in a, uh, brother-sister way. We want him as our _boyfriend_."

"Ooo!" Leni clapped her hands together, "He'd make a _great_ boyfriend! He's so nice, and handsome, and smart, and funny! Lincoln would be a total catch!"

Lynn sighed. "I suppose you want in, too?" she asked their younger sister.

"Absolutely not." Lisa seemed horrified, "The genetic ramifications for inbreeding are too horrifying to bear, though I suppose I could engineer the faults out of any children born of-"

"Wait!" Luan gasped, "You're saying you could _fix_ anything wrong with our kids?" She blushed. "If, uh, we had kids?"

"Well, the human genome isn't fully understood, but I'm confident given some time, I could…" Lisa said, not entirely comfortable with the idea, "Goodness, Luan, I hope you're not thinking of consummating this unholy union."

"Dude!" Luna nodded, slowly, "We can go bareback."

"Oh dear god." Lincoln's face flushed and paled within a minute.

"If you win his heart." Lynn corrected, "He and I are closer in age than any of you."

"I'm almost as close." Lucy pointed out, "And I have more interests in common with him."

"What are you even wearing?" Luan laughed, "Besides, why would Lincoln date a child when he could have a woman?"

"Is that a joke?" Luna sneered, "He needs someone cool. Someone who knows how to rock his world!"

"Like, why don't we just share him?" Leni asked.

"Because, that'd be wrong!" the other sisters – bar Lisa – snapped. They blinked in tandem before looking at each other sheepishly.

"Right…" Luna sighed.

"Nothing about this is right." Lynn rubbed the back of her head.

"What do you say, Linc?" Luan held her hand out, "Want to try your hand at… well, all of us?"

"You'd be living nearly every kid at school's dream." Lynn chuckled, wryly.

"Do I have a choice?" Lincoln sighed. This convoluted web of incest and competition was beginning to feel more like a prison.

"Of course you have a choice, Linc." Luna seemed hurt, "You could choose any one of us. Or none of us. We'll understand."

"We won't hold it against you." Lucy confirmed. There was a follow up of agreements from the other siblings.

"I _do_ love all of you." Lincoln growled in frustration, "And more than in just a brother-sister way… I'm attracted to each of you, differently… But I don't want you all to hate _each other_ because I can't choose between you."

The sisters looked at one another as Lisa jotted down notes. They _had_ been acting particularly aggressive towards one another. They kept saying they'd try and share him, but how long would that work out before jealousy drove them apart? They would have to decide here and now whether they could really share him – lest they drive Lincoln mad with guilt and shame.

"Alright, alright!" Lynn sighed, "I'll… share you."

"Me too." Luna said, regretfully.

"The things I do for love." Luan tsked.

"I won't let my selfishness keep you from being happy." Lucy nodded agreement.

"My last boyfriend had lots of girlfriends." Leni said, "At least I know yours."

Lincoln allowed himself a smile. Just when he began to question his sanity for loving his sisters, they put aside their self-interest because they loved him. They took care of him, put him together when he fell apart. They'd been there from the start. Who cared if society wouldn't understand? Society could rot for all he cared!

The touching moment vanished with Lisa's voiced observations.

"Incestuous competition evolves into a harem." She noted, "Interesting."

Interesting indeed…


	7. To Last Forever

**My mistake – Luna is older than Luan.** **Wherever I got the information was wrong; sorry.** **Also, I've been taking some fanon from our lord and savior, Jump Jump – just small stuff, like Lucy's eyes being blue.**

Lincoln inhaled and exhaled, slowly. Date with Lucy, Take Two.

He knocked on her door. Now with _four_ other sisters running interference, they could keep any number of people occupied. Heck, if Lincoln could keep all ten of his sisters occupied, surely four of them could keep the remainder distracted. Then again, three of them couldn't stop Leni…

"Enter." Lucy's voice carried through the door.

Lincoln opened the door and immediately shut it behind him.

"Lucy!" he hissed, "Why are you _naked_?!" Thankfully the blinds were closed.

"Lisa said she could fix any problems with our kids, so I figured, why not?" Lucy shrugged.

"Lucy." Lincoln said, grasping for calm, "You're ten. I'm thirteen. Don't you think we're a little young?"

"Children my age have sex all the time." Lucy said, "At least, that's what the news says."

"Those children are molested!" Lincoln face-palmed, "Are there honestly children in your grade having sex?"

"Well… no." Lucy said, running her hand along her thin leg. Was she trying to be seductive? "Don't you want me?"

"It's not like that." Lincoln sighed.

"Isn't it?" Lucy asked, "You're not attracted to me."

"No!" Lincoln held his hands up, "It's not that!"

"It's fine." Lucy sighed, wrapping up in sheets, "I know I'm not as pretty as Leni, or Luna."

"Oh for the love of…" Lincoln muttered, "Lucy, look at me."

He grabbed her by the chin, gently. He moved his face in close and kissed her, softly. When he pulled away, he brushed the bangs out of her eyes, revealing wide, blue irises.

"You're beautiful." He said. Two very simple words that lit Lucy's pale face up like a Christmas tree.

"Then why don't you want to…" Lucy trailed off.

"I'm not ready to do… _that_ with you." Lincoln explained, rubbing the nape of his neck in discomfort, "I am attracted to you, which is weird enough. I'm not ready to sleep with someone… so young, though."

"But you'd sleep with Lynn?" Lucy challenged.

"I don't know." Lincoln shrugged, "Maybe. But not because I love her more. She's older."

"I don't believe you." Lucy frowned.

"Ok, how about this," the boy said, "you get dressed, and I promise I won't sleep with _any of you_ until you're eighteen."

"Sixteen." Lucy insisted, "That's the age of consent."

"How do you..?" Lincoln shook his head, "Never mind. Fine, sixteen. Deal?" He held his hand out for her.

Lucy looked at the hand before sighing and taking it.

"Fine." She agreed, "But I get you first. I've already waited two years for this. Six more is asking a lot."

"Alright, alright." Lincoln chuckled, then furrowed his brow, "The others won't be happy."

"Neither am I." Lucy pointed out as she got dressed, "They can deal with it."

"Fair enough." Lincoln agreed, "Besides… you know… what else did you have planned?"

"Snuggling, mostly." Lucy pulled her dress on, "Talking. Maybe reading you some poems I wrote."

"I would like that." Lincoln grinned.

The two sat on her bed, assuming a comfortable position with Lucy wrapped in her brother's arms. They both sighed, oddly contented. Lucy began reciting her poetry.

"I call this one… _Happiness_." Lucy blushed at the title, "Soul, so dark, black as night, once forgotten, out of sight. Then you came, and offered light, freed me from nightmarish flight, I'm happy now, in _your_ sight."

"That was beautiful, Lucy." Lincoln said, not lying, "I never knew you could make, well, happy poems."

"Of course I _could_ ," Lucy snorted, "I just never had a reason before now."

"Have you really had a crush on me since you were eight?" her brother asked, softly.

"Maybe longer." Lucy confessed, "I don't know when I became so bleak, but I knew – two years ago – that part of the reason was because… I loved you, but I could never have you."

"You have me now." Lincoln smoothed her hair.

"And that's why I'm happy." Lucy said, "Happier than I've been in a long time."

"I never knew you were so miserable." Lincoln sounded hurt, "If I knew, I could've done something…"

"I've never really been miserable." Lucy confessed, "Just… bleak. I've had moments of happiness – I have a lot of memories with you and our sisters. I guess what I'm saying is, I've never felt _complete_ until now."

"Complete, huh?" Lincoln smiled to himself, "So you really don't mind sharing me?"

"Of course I mind." Lucy said, "All of us want you to ourselves, but we all understand the situation. Besides, we'd have to share you with your friends, anyway. Sharing you is probably the least unnatural thing about this arrangement."

"When you put it that way, sounds like it." Lincoln chuckled. His mirth didn't hold long. "This is all so… weird, to me."

"It does feel rather unreal, doesn't it?" Lucy admitted, "If it ever becomes too much for you, we can stop. None of us would want to hurt you."

"I've lived with multiple sisters my entire life." The boy shrugged, "Living with multiple girlfriends isn't too different. Actually, it kinda helps that both groups are the same."

"Still, if it comes down to it, Linc…" Lucy swallowed, "don't throw your life away to make us happy. This can't last forever."

"Shush." Lincoln kissed the crown of her head, "It'll last as long as it lasts. We'll enjoy it while it does."

"I wish it would last forever." Lucy said, shedding tears.

"Maybe it will." Lincoln said. And maybe it would. "Read me another poem, Lucy."

"Okay." The goth replied, smiling softly.

The rest of the day passed by too quickly for their liking and they parted with a loving embrace and kiss, both uplifted yet strangely melancholy. Lincoln found himself wishing it _would_ last forever, but dreaded that it could never.

Sooner or later, somebody would find out.


	8. A Little Saucey

**Sorry for the short chapter last time.** **Hopefully this one's longer.** **Put in a little mature fan service.** **It's not much, but it should hold you.**

Lincoln rotated his head to get a crick out of his neck. He had slept wrong last night, dreaming a little too vividly about his sisters. It was pleasant, fanciful, and surprisingly lacked sexuality. The dream soured when his parents walked in on their love. Soon the entire town had discovered what was happening and ran the Louds out of town. Lincoln had woken up in a cold sweat, sick to his stomach. There wasn't anything wrong with their love. It was natural.

Who was he really trying to convince?

After a shower and getting dressed, Lincoln walked down the hall. Today was his date with Lynn. Fortunately, Lucy had already revealed Lincoln's vow of celibacy, so he was spared _that_ tirade. He doubted his sisters were entirely pleased with his decision, but he couldn't bring himself to sleep with a ten-year-old.

Briefly, Lincoln questioned his sense of morality. Was he really willing to sleep with _any_ of his sisters? His dreams seemed to say so, and all it took him was the memory of that kissing game to remind him that, yes, he would. Part of him was thoroughly disgusted with himself, but mostly he was becoming used to the idea. Paradoxically, that disgusted him more.

Lucy was standing guard outside their shared room, keeping guard for them. Luan and Luna ran interference, but they still needed a door guard – and Leni wasn't exactly up to the task. She nodded at him and opened the door.

"Remember your promise." Lucy said, "Lynn's... very active."

"Don't worry, Lucy." Lincoln smiled, "I made a promise; I intend to keep it."

Lucy closed the door behind him, maybe a touch too hesitantly. Lincoln was shocked at what he saw: Lynn was wearing her usual attire, completely at ease, bouncing a soccer ball atop her head.

"Geeze, Linc, you look like you've seen a ghost." Lynn laughed.

"Sorry." The boy apologized, "I just wasn't expecting you to act so… normal."

"Why wouldn't I?" Lynn stopped, perfectly balancing the ball on her head, "It's a date, Linc. I'm not going to pretend to be something I'm not."

Lincoln could believe that. Where Lucy was uncomfortable with herself, Lynn was proud. Lucy might not feel comfortable exposing her true self – such as her Lolita fashion – but Lynn hid nothing. Sports were her passion, competition her life. He supposed it shouldn't be surprising that she wasn't exposing a softer side to him. While he was sure such a side existed, he was equally sure she'd show it on her own terms – and a first date probably wasn't her ideal time.

"Well, if it's _just_ a date, we can postpone." Lincoln joked.

"Ho no," Lynn grinned, "You're not getting off that easily. Lucy told us you were off limits in bed, that little… But there are ways around that."

"Nothing sexual, remember?" Lincoln warned, "Not even foreplay."

"T-that's not what I had in mind!" Lynn was a terrible liar, "W-what do you take me for?"

"A _very_ active teenager." Lincoln snorted, "Surely you had other ideas."

"Nothing really date-like." Lynn shrugged while bouncing the soccer ball from knee to knee, "There's not a lot of sports we can play in here."

She dropped the ball, her face brightening up as an idea struck her.

"We can wrestle." She suggested.

Lincoln blushed. That wasn't exactly sexual.

"Naked." Lynn nodded, grin widening.

"Can't do that." Lincoln shook his head, "I, um… don't trust myself to keep it… well…"

"Linc, you're sweet." Lynn's grin faded to a wistful smile, "And very honest, for a thirteen-year-old."

"Don't get me wrong, Lynn." Lincoln eyed his sister, carefully, "I want to. If I'm being completely honest, I want to with _all_ of you. The thing is, if I do, I have to do it with all of you – and I just can't do that with Lucy. Not yet."

Lynn sighed, but kept her smile. "Like I said, Linc. You're sweet. It's one of the reasons I fell in love you."

Something in the way she said it piqued his curiosity.

"Why else do you love me?" Lincoln asked, "I mean, what makes a girl love her brother as more than a brother?"

"Are you still on that?" Lynn snickered, though she had really pondered the very same thing every night, "Why do I love you? Hmm."

Lynn searched for another ball to occupy her hands, settling on her tennis ball. She'd never been forced to ponder this before. It was a difficult subject to broach, especially considering she'd never been in love before.

"I guess the thing I love most about you is…" she hesitated, "the little things."

"The… little things?" Lincoln quirked an eyebrow.

"Yeah." Lynn blushed and focused on the tennis ball, "You're always so cool. You're the only guy that can keep up with me, the only guy that _gets_ me, you know? You accept me for my, uh… foibles."

"Foibles?" Lincoln tried not to laugh. Lynn was the last person he expected to say that.

"Shut up!" Lynn held her own laugh in, "But seriously, not many guys can accept me for being, well, me. You can."

"That's what brothers are for." Lincoln shrugged.

"No, no. It goes way past that." Lynn assured him, "I play dozens of sports with dudes, and most of them are brothers. I've seen how they act. There's compassion and understanding, all that mushy stuff, but there's also a lot of bravado and telling each other to suck it up. I've seen brothers who hate each other, brothers who treat their siblings like dirt, and brothers who look for any excuse to fight. I've never seen a brother like you – a young man, like you."

"Wow." The teenage boy struggled to swallow, "Thanks, Lynn. That was pretty cool."

"And here I said not to get used to it." Lynn shook her head, ruefully, "What are we supposed to do on a date, anyway? You know, since sex is out." Then loud enough for Lucy to hear through the door, "Thanks Lucy!"

"I… wouldn't mind wrestling." Lincoln confessed, blushing, "For old time's sake."

"Naked?" Lynn asked, hopeful.

"Clothed." Lincoln asserted.

"Half-naked?" Lynn grinned.

Lincoln hesitated, but how could he resist? She was a persistent one, and certainly not bad on the eyes.

"Deal." He agreed, somewhat reluctant.

Lynn immediately took off her shirt and bra, exposing her breasts.

"What are you doing?!" he whisper-hollered, "I thought we agreed too half-naked!"

"I'm not taking my shorts off." Lynn laughed, "Therefore, still half-naked."

Lincoln could not argue with her logic, unfortunately. So, blushing, he removed his own shirt. He wasn't muscular – at least, not in his own eyes – but years of competitive sports with Lynn had put some tone to his physique. Lynn's smile broadened at the sight, and Lincoln would be lying if he said he wasn't looking at her chest.

"Another reason I love you," she confessed, "is because you're just too cute."

"Cute?" Lincoln seemed offended, "I was expecting sexy."

"Don't get too full of yourself." The jock snorted, "You're still young. Now get ready."

They charged one another. Toplessness aside, they wrestled with all the finesse and grace they always had – which is to say, none at all. They grappled, they taunted, they flung one another. Lynn finally pinned her brother, grinning in triumph. Lincoln noticed her breasts close to his face and exhaled sharply. The breath danced across her exposed nipples, making her shiver and blush.

"S-stop that!" she managed.

Lincoln smiled coyly, having exposed a weakness in his sister. Moving his head forward, he gave her nipple a quick lick. Lynn had to cover her mouth to muffle a high-pitched squeak. Lincoln took the opportunity to switch their positions and floor Lynn.

"Got you!" he laughed.

"No-no fair!" Lynn huffed, the experience leaving her breathless, "You cheated!"

"You kick me in the balls almost every time we wrestle!" Lincoln argued, "What do you call it? Striking at weak points?"

"Eh, still…" Lynn scowled, but then gave a wicked smile, "I never thought _you'd_ do something so sneaky."

"I learn from the best." Lincoln allowed himself a smug grin and paid for it.

Lynn pressed her knee against Lincoln's crotch, but not with painful force. Very gently, she ran the knee along his tender region and he curled up as pleasure made him wince. His breath caught and Lynn floored him. Short of breath, staring up into Lynn's eyes, the two teens huffed from sexual stimulation.

"Can't we just, you know, use our hands or something?" Lynn pleaded, clearly very excited.

"No." Lincoln shook his head, as much to himself as to her, "I promised Lucy."

"That punk…" Lynn growled in frustration, but it quickly abated, "Just kiss me then. Please."

Lincoln obliged, leaning in and locking lips with Lynn. Unlike their first kiss, Lynn was much more aggressive this time. Their tongues moved back and forth, forceful and untamed. Lynn contented herself to massaging Lincoln's chest and abs. Lincoln briefly considered whether or not massaging breasts was sexual or not, but he'd already gone and licked it, so he submitted to teenage impulse. Lynn squeaked and moaned into her kisses, but didn't protest.

Finally, breathless, they fell apart from each other, laying side by side and staring at the ceiling.

"You think we can get married someday?" Lynn asked.

"It's illegal." Lincoln pointed out, "Plus I can't marry all of you."

"What if we used fake identities?" Lynn asked, "Moved away from where people know us and just live out our days as husband and wife?"

"I couldn't leave the others, Lynn." Lincoln sighed, "I love all of you."

"I know…" Lynn sighed, too, "I don't mind sharing you, but… I really want to marry you."

"Marry me, huh?" Lincoln was actually pleased to hear it, "I never thought of you as the marrying type."

"Only with you." Lynn confessed.

They lay there, silently.

"Don't ever change, Linc." She said.

"I won't." Lincoln promised, though he wasn't sure if he could keep that one.

Their hormones dying down, Lincoln wrapped his arms around Lynn and the two fell into a peaceful sleep.


	9. A Change in Plans

**If it weren't obvious, I'm trying to pander to the demands of the reviewers, lol.** **Despite my reservations about adding too much heat to this fic, fans demand sex.** **So… here's more fuel.** **This fic is spiraling out of control XD**

 **Anyway, sorry it's short – it's more of an intermission than a chapter.**

"Man, it's been a long day." Lynn yawned, throwing her ball against the wall. As usually, the rhythmic beat helped lull her to sleep. "Night, Lucy."

"Good night." Lucy replied. She wasn't the least bit tired – her mind was racing.

It had been a horrible idea to have her – or any of the sisters – guard the door to Lynn's room. Curiosity was bound to get the best of them when the room started shaking. What else were they supposed to expect? Lynn and Lincoln were the most physically active of their family; of course they'd play sports for a date! Even so, Lucy should have stayed at her post.

Instead, she remembered with a shudder, she had climbed into the air ducts and spied on her siblings. Them wrestling was no surprise; the two had wrestled since they were toddlers. No, it was the fact both were _topless_! She knew, somehow, it was Lynn's fault. Somehow, someway, the little jock was corrupting Lincoln! And after he'd promised not to, too!

Lucy calmed herself. She wasn't one to let emotions rule her judgement. Watching him _lick her breast_ , though! If that didn't make Lucy want to scream, nothing could. If she were being honest with herself, she was angry out of jealousy. She wanted Lincoln to love her – to melt with him and be one. Still, Lincoln wasn't ready to cross that line.

She huffed out a breath of exasperation. He'd _never_ be ready to cross that line. Not unless she crossed it, first. She couldn't do it alone, though. For one, she was too weak to overpower Lincoln – for the other, she owed it to her sisters to keep to her agreement and share him, no matter how much that pained her. She swore her selfishness would not deride their pact.

She walked over to Lynn's bed, tapping her sister on the forehead.

"Huh, what?!" Lynn jackknifed up, drool hanging from her mouth.

"I need to speak to you and the others." Lucy said.

"What?" Lynn scowled, "Going to tell us we can't kiss Linc until you're 16, too?"

"Quite the opposite." Lucy stated, vaguely.

Lynn quirked an eyebrow in curiosity and followed her younger sister to Luna and Luan's room. Luan woke almost instantly, but Luna wore headphones. The others could clearly hear the music even from a distance.

" _Enter Sandman_." Lucy commented, "Fitting."

"How are we going to wake her up?" Lynn asked, not even bothering to whisper, "Yo, sis! Wake up!"

Nothing.

"I've got this." Luan said. She followed the headphone cord to Luna's stereo and pressed the power button.

Immediately, Luan shot up.

"Who's touching my bloody-!" she started but stopped when confronted with her sisters, "We having a sleepover?"

"Not by a longshot." Lucy explained, "As you all know, I made Lincoln promise not to engage in… sexual intercourse with any of us until I was the age of consent."

"Yeah, we're aware." Luna deadpanned.

"I was wrong." Lucy sighed, "I said I wouldn't let my personal desires interfere with the arrangement we have, and here I've done just that. I don't want to stand in the way of you guys being happy. I'm not holding him to that vow, anymore."

Lynn's mouth fell open while Luan and Luna's eyes widened.

"Lucy, you don't have to do that." Luan said, "We can wait."

"You shouldn't have to." The youngest of the four said, "Lincoln is uncomfortable sleeping with me because of my age; he doesn't have that problem with any of you."

"He won't do it." Lynn shrugged, "He can't. He doesn't want to hurt you by picking any one of us over another."

"We've really put him in a tight spot, huh?" Luna rubbed the nape of her neck.

"We should be putting him in a _tighter_ spot." Luan laughed, still not entirely awake. Her eyes snapped open and she dug through her drawers. "That was a good one! Where's my pen and notepad?!"

"He won't sleep with _any_ of us until he can sleep with _all_ of us." Lynn pointed out, "That's the simple fact."

"Then, like, why don't we all sleep with him?" Leni's voice broke in on their conversation. All of the siblings present jumped in fear. How lucky it was her and not someone else…

"So that's what that feels like." Lucy muttered.

"Leni, we can't all have sex with him at once." Lynn said.

"Sex?" Leni's eyes widened, "Well, my old boyfriend used to have lots of girls have sex with him."

"Oh my god." Luna was disgusted, "Leni, who was your last boyfriend? He sounds in need of a serious beatdown!"

"Well now, hey…" Lucy interrupted that train of thought, "That's… not that bad of an idea."

"It sounds a little gross." Luan said.

"I think it's kind of hot." Luna confessed, "I mean, all of us at once? That's pretty metal."

"I never thought of sex as a 'team sport', but…" Lynn blushed, "That does sound… What are we talking about? None of us have even kissed! How do you expect us to, you know?"

"Well, if _that's_ the problem, we should just kiss!" Leni snorted, "I mean, you've all kissed Lincoln, right? How different could it be?"

"This is wrong." Lynn gripped her head between her hands.

"Can you think of anything _right_ that's happened since this has started?" Lucy asked.

"Wouldn't be the first time, Luan." Luna linked, making her sister blushed.

"We were, like, eight!" the comedian scoffed, "We didn't know better."

"And now that we do?" Luna leaned in close, hot breath dancing across her sister's lips.

"Oh." Lynn groaned, but couldn't look away. Lucy and Leni watched with detached interest.

"Kiss me." Luna said, "We're all in this together. It's not just each of us sharing Lincoln; it's Lincoln sharing each of us."

"This is wrong…" Lynn repeated.

"You started this." Lucy pointed out, "Kissing game ringing a bell?"

"Luna, I-I can't…" Luan didn't sound very convincing.

Luna closed the distance and locked their lips together. Nobody knew Luan as well as Luna – and the elder knew her younger's weaknesses. As predicted, Luan melted into the kiss. Their tongues rolled and both crashed onto the bunk bed, ignoring their other sisters. They felt each other in a passion, eyes fluttering in ecstasy, completely lost to the kiss. Luna traced her tongue along Luan's braces; Luan cupped her sister's breasts, eliciting a moan.

"Aw, it's so sweet." Leni tilted her head slightly. Her voice snapped the sisters out of their make-out session. Both looked utterly embarrassed, but not the least regretful. Leni turned to Lynn and Lucy. "Do you two, like, want to try?"

"Ew!" Lynn said, "I don't play for that team!"

"How are we going to share Lincoln if you don't try?" Leni asked, "Here, let me help you."

Before Lynn could protest, Leni pressed their lips together. Lynn's face erupted in red, but she didn't pull out. Leni's lips were so _soft_! Fingers twitching, Lynn found herself running her hands down Leni's face. Her cheeks were also very soft. Lynn never noticed how pretty her older sister was, before. Sure, she'd heard her teammates talk about it, but… Then Leni pulled away.

"See?" she beamed, "Nothing to it!"

She turned a stunned Lynn around to face an equally-stunned Lucy and pushed them closer together. Lynn looked at the floor between them, suddenly abashed.

"I know we don't usually get along, Luc…" Lynn said, rubbing her arm, "Truth is, you're my best friend. I know sharing Lincoln is pretty weird, and I guess I suspected we'd eventually have to, um… do something like this, but I don't want things to get… weird between us. Well, weirder."

"It'll only get weird if you let it get weird." Lucy said, swallowing her apprehension away, "Now… kiss me."

Unlike Luan and Luna's kiss, this wasn't a passionate snogging. This was slow, docile, and loving. Gentle, ginger kisses, not a lot of tongue-play. It broke quickly and quietly, without the need for interruption. Lynn swallowed, nervous; unknowingly, Lucy was doing the same.

"I think we're ready to share Lincoln, now." Leni grinned, "Try to get some sleep, girls! Especially you, Luan – you're date's tomorrow!"

"R-right." Luan blinked, still awestruck at what they'd all just done.

The sisters all said their goodnights and departed from one another.

Tomorrow would be interesting.


	10. A Double Date (Get it?)

**I'm surprised this thing is as popular as it is.** **Congrats to anyone who's made it this far. Added some more sauce for this chapter. We're gearing up to the lemon part, folks, hang in there.**

Lincoln couldn't help but notice something very off about Luan. For one thing, she hadn't told a single joke since their date began. If that weren't odd enough, she seemed utterly distracted and prone to looking at her bunk bed. Finally, it occurred to Lincoln that Luan and Luna were never far from one another. Honestly, out of all their siblings, they were probably the closest – after Lola and Lana.

"Missing Luna?" Lincoln asked.

"What?!" Luan blushed vividly, "What makes you say that?"

"You two are really close." Lincoln shrugged, "You seem distracted. I just figured it had something to do with Luna not being here."

"Pshaw," Luan snorted, "I think I can last a single date without her."

"Sorry for bringing it up." Lincoln chuckled, "Still, you don't seem into it. Are you alright?"

Luan blinked. Here she was on a date with the man of her dreams, and she wasn't even paying attention to him!

"Sorry, Linc." Luan shrugged, "I guess I'm just distracted. Last night, the girls and I had a powwow."

"Oh." Lincoln assumed 'the girls' were the sisters involved in this harem, "What about?"

"Nothing you need worry about, yet." Luan waved a hand, dismissively, "Long story short, I figured out we're sharing _each other_ as much as we're sharing you."

"O…kay?" Lincoln wasn't sure if that was some kind of elaborate joke or not.

"I do kind of miss her, though." Luan admitted, "Do you think she'd mind if we shared our date?"

"Shared?" Lincoln blushed, "You mean, me date you both at once?"

"Yeah!" Luan nodded, "Killing two birds with one stone, right?"

Lincoln was about to protest, but there was appeal in the idea. Not only that, but he had agreed to the harem – eventually he was going to have to spend time with two or three of them at a time. After all, he couldn't just date them one at a time; that'd take forever! So, he just nodded and watched as Luan opened the door where Luna was standing watch with her guitar.

"Linc thinks it's not fair to have you miss out on all the fun." The comedian told the musician.

"Rad." Luna grinned, "It was getting boring out here, anyway."

Luna crashed into her beanbag chair, playing a mellow rift. Luan busted out her dummy.

"So, um… what do we do?" Lincoln asked, "All I did with Lynn was wrestle, and with Lucy I listened to poetry. I don't know what else to do on a date."

"I could think of a few things," Luna eyed her brother, "but they'll have to wait."

"What do you think, Mr. Coconuts?" Luan asked.

"I can't tell if this is hot, or just dirty!" the dummy replied.

"Our relationship?" Luan asked, mock injury on her face.

"No, this doo-doo!" the dummy held up Luan's rubber dog poop. Luan laughed as her siblings groaned.

"What else did you do with Lynn and Lucy?" Luna asked, "I doubt you only listened to poems and wrestled."

"Yeah, something saucy _must_ have happened." Luan giggled.

"W-well…" Lincoln blushed, "We did make out… a little. Shirtless."

"Bro, that's sick." Luna laughed, "The good kind."

"Sounds like a lot of fun, right Mr. Coconuts?" Luan asked.

"More like a lot of _tongue_." The puppet waggled its eyebrows.

"Well there's only one thing to do now." Luna unstrapped her guitar and lifted her shirt.

Lincoln's face flushed a deep crimson. Unsurprisingly, Luna had a fuller chest than Lynn and Lincoln almost drooled as he watched the larger breasts roll free of Luna's bra. Luan whistled as Mr. Coconuts' jaw literally dropped off. Lincoln clutched his jeans in sexual frustration, screaming internally.

 _Remember your promise!_ He thought.

"Well, I can't let you have all the fun." Luan removed her scrunchie, letting her hair fall down in wavy lengths.

Lincoln eyed her as she removed her own shirt, painstakingly slow. Briefly he was stunned by her yellow-plaid bra. Who the heck would wear that? Then Luan's breasts fell free and the bra was forgotten. They were nearly identical to Luna's in size, though the nipples were slightly darker he noticed.

"Is that bologna in your pants, or are you just happy to see me?" Luan asked, eying Lincoln's erection, hungrily.

"I-I'm _very_ happy." The teen boy confessed, "Oh man, you're both so… beautiful."

"Thanks Linc." Luna said, playing off the blush on her face. She knelt beside him, grinning at his eyes not leaving her breasts. "Eyes up, bro. Time we made this interesting."

Their lips met almost immediately. It was savage and hungry. Passion was the only word that mattered in this struggle. The only time the kiss broke was when Lincoln nibbled his way to her chest. Every detour forced Luna to bite her hand or risk screaming out in pleasure. She would give _anything_ to sleep with her brother at that moment. The only thing keeping her in check was her obligation to her fellow sisters.

Luan, meanwhile, knelt just a little bit away. Her hand shivered over her crotch at the sight of her closest sister making out with Lincoln. There wasn't a sense of jealousy, which she would normally feel at the sight – only a burning desire. She resisted the urge to masturbate; they had vowed not to make their dates _too_ sexual. At least not until the appointed date where they could all have Lincoln.

That day was coming soon.

So Luan crawled over to her siblings threw herself into their session. Lincoln's mind raced as he tried to please both his sisters at once. Out of impulse he put his fingers to Luna's lips as he kissed Luan. Luna licked the fingers before suckling on them. Lincoln used his free hand to grope one of Luan's breasts while he traced her braces with his tongue. He gently pinched her nipple as he ran the saliva-slick fingers of his other hand down Luna's bare chest.

"Holy…" Luan's breath hitched as she broke the kiss.

"You're… you're _really_ good!" Luna huffed, more in love with her brother than ever before.

"T-thanks." Lincoln panted, "I think we should stop. I don't think I can control myself if we, uh… continue."

"It's cool, bro." Luna regained control of her breathing.

"Ronnie Anne doesn't know what she's missing." Luan said, then flinched, "Sorry Linc. Didn't mean to bring up the ex."

"It's okay." Lincoln sighed, "I miss her, but… Dating all of you makes me feel, well, better."

"I think dating five girls would make just about any guy feel better." Luna snickered.

"Or drive him nuts." Luan mused.

"Sooner or later, we'll get caught." Lincoln's mood soured, "Lisa knows. How long until Lola or Lana walk in on us? Or Lori when her and Bobby visit? What if mom and dad find out?"

"We'll cross that bridge when we come to it." Luna shrugged, "If anything, they'll probably try to keep the whole thing on the down-low. Six of their children banging each other? That's not something they'd blab."

"They'd have to be even crazier than us!" Luan laughed.

"What if Clyde finds out?" Lincoln asked, "He's my best friend! He's going to figure it out, eventually."

"I think as long as you're not dating Lori, he won't care." Luna said.

"He's not _that_ blind!" Lincoln scoffed, "Well… he might be."

"Calm down, Linc." Luna put her bra and shirt back on.

"Yeah," Luan did the same, "Trust your big sisters."

"Now let's just sit back, cuddle, and listen to some rad tunes." Luna suggested.

" _And_ sick jokes!" Luan added.

Lincoln nodded agreement. This would work out.

It would have to.


	11. The Lemon

**I really regret writing this, lol.** **Seriously, this may be the most twisted perversion of a kid's show I've ever done.** **Still, people like it, so I'll give you what you want.** **I present the final chapter: the lemon.** **Enjoy.**

 **PS:** **I don't know why I made Leni have a douchebag ex…**

Leni was more than an airhead. She'd demonstrated the fact more than once.

If there was one thing she could pick up on, it was her sisters in distress. Lynn was practicing batting and pitching so quickly, she was practically playing a game of baseball herself. Lucy was dealing with serious writer's block, going so far as to rip pages out of her beloved journal in frustration. Luna was shredding away at her guitar, cursing up a storm when she inevitably broke a string. Luan was doing a one-man stand-up show for Mr. Coconuts – and booing herself offstage.

Leni might not have been the sharpest tool in the shed, but even she could see the situation was leaving her siblings in pain. Smiling all the while, she called her fellow harem collaborators to the guest room where she was staying.

"I think we should move up our plans." She announced once the door was shut.

"What plans?" Lynn asked, fidgeting without a baseball in her hand, "You mean yours and Lincoln's date?"

"I mean the, um…" Leni scrunched her brow, "What's the word, again? It starts with a zero…"

"Zero isn't a letter, Leni." Lucy sighed.

"Sound it out." Luan offered.

"Org-ee?" Leni said, painfully slow. It didn't take a genius to figure out what word she'd been reaching for, and every other face turned crimson.

"B-but what about your date?" Luna asked, "It's not fair that we skip yours."

"It's not fair to make all of you wait." Leni pointed out, "Besides, this is just like a date! Only with all of you instead of just Lincoln."

"We have lost four days, already." Lynn mentioned, "This is our last day with the house to ourselves in, well, a long time."

"We've already said if Lincoln can't do it with all of us, he's not going to do it with any of us." Lucy noted, "We have to strike today, before mom and dad get home."

"Lisa will have to keep Lana and Lola busy." Luna said, excitement creeping into her voice.

"Oh man, are we really doing this?" Lynn grinned, "Somebody pinch me! OW!"

"What?" Leni shrugged, "You asked me to."

"Alright girls," Luan said, "Let's get ready to rock Lincoln's world."

Anxious, the five girls split up into two teams. One was supposed to convince Lisa to distract the twins for them; the other was to seize Lincoln and bring him to the guest room. Lisa didn't need much convincing – her only request was that Luan record the whole thing for studying later, which only added to the excitement. The hard part was Lincoln.

"What's going on?!" he demanded.

He was being dragged from his bed by what could only be his sisters. As usual, he was wearing nothing but his underwear – the better to enjoy reading his comic books in. This was a new and frightful experience for him, being dragged through the house in only his skivvies. Then again, he probably should have come to expect this, given the antics his family usually engaged in.

He grunted as he was thrown onto something soft. Looking around, he saw he was in the guest room. Both beds had been pushed together to form a single platform, and he was dead center. What surrounded him, though, left him speechless. He thought his nose might be bleeding.

Leni was wearing lingerie, probably something her douche of an ex-boyfriend bought her by the look of how… revealing it was. Luna wore fishnet tights with her usual plaid skirt, a leather jacket and a bra being her only other clothing, with her face done up in Glam Rock paint. Luan wore her usual attire, oddly, and was holding… a camera? Lynn wore her sports jersey – and Lincoln was convinced that was _all_ she was wearing. Finally, there was Lucy, wearing a greatly reduced Lolita cosplay.

"What are you guys doing?!" Lincoln asked, aghast.

"Getting you laid." Luan explained, turning the camera on, "I believe Lucy had first dibs."

"I'm _not_ doing that to Lucy!" Lincoln protested. As he started to get up, Lynn and Luna held his arms down while Leni held his legs. "Are you guys crazy? Lucy's only ten!"

"We're not giving you a choice this time." Lucy informed her brother, stealing a kiss as she straddled him, "You promised to see this through; none of us can wait any longer."

"I-I don't want to!" Lincoln struggled against his sisters, but they were already tying his limbs to the bedposts.

"You will." Lucy smiled. She brushed the skirt of her costume back, revealing her lack of underpants. Pale and perfect were the only words that came to Lincoln's mind, and he knew his nose was bleeding this time.

"L-Lucy!" Lincoln huffed, his breathing becoming ragged as his arousal increased, "Think about this!"

"It's all I've thought about for the last two years." She confessed.

Before Lincoln could say anything else, Lucy positioned his penis beneath her and sat down. Both Lincoln and Lucy shivered in pleasure and pain at the experience. Lincoln's breath caught in his throat. He paled at the sight of blood trickling down his member.

"Lucy, are you alright?" he asked, nothing but concern etched on his flustered face.

"Y-yeah." Lucy said, "Give me a second."

Lucy slowly ground her hips against Lincoln. Lincoln resisted the urge to thrust back and forth; clearly Lucy was in pain and needed a moment to work up to it. Part of Lincoln was screaming out about the wrongness of the whole situation. Incest aside, Lincoln was literally _inside_ a ten-year-old – and enjoying it, no less. If this were ever discovered, he could face serious criminal charges.

And Luan was filming it all!

"Ok, here I go." Lucy said, short of breath.

She lifted herself and fell back down. All thoughts of repercussions fled Lincoln's mind as his body flooded with pleasure. How could something so wrong feel so good? Up and down she went, driving Lincoln crazier and crazier. He gripped the belts binding him to the bed, practically making his hands bleed from the tightness. Finally, with one last drop, Lincoln couldn't hold on any longer.

Both of them screamed in ecstasy as Lincoln erupted into her. He hadn't realized he'd been saving so much up until it was all released. His fingers twitched uncontrollably, his toes curled. Lucy felt herself overflowing. It was everything she had dreamed it would be, and more. Her own toes were curling and she placed her hands on Lincoln's firm chest for balance as her head whited out. After a few minutes, she rolled off and next to him.

"Now that's what I call a money shot!" Luan laughed, replaying their orgasm on her camera.

"You, like, did great for your first time, Linc!" Leni said, "You lasted longer than my ex-boyfriend!"

"I've really gone and done it, haven't I?" he asked himself between pants, "I just came in my ten-year-old sister…"

"It was consensual." Lucy said, "Besides, technically we raped you."

"Oh yeah, that's comforting." Lincoln muttered, "Look, can you untie me? I'm not going anywhere _now_."

His sisters complied and Lincoln massaged his wrists. The bindings had gotten really tight when he climaxed.

"Did you enjoy it?" he asked. Nothing for it, now.

"It was the single greatest moment of my life." Lucy said, "My only regret is I'm too young to have your children."

Oh God, he'd forgotten about _that_ little fact!

"So, who's next?" Luna asked as she helped Lucy onto a towel. Lincoln was both aroused and disturbed at how much cum was spilling out of her.

"Up to Lincoln." Luan shrugged, "I mean, it is _his_ body we're using."

Lincoln never liked to choose between his sisters, but immediately he turned his head towards one in particular. She had tormented him with her body for years… Now was his time for sweet relief.

"Lynn." He challenged, "If she thinks she's up for it."

"Oh, heck yeah!" Lynn tackled her brother onto the bed. She rubbed her pussy against his member, getting it erect again within moments, but didn't insert it.

"Um… if you don't want to, I won't make fun of you." Lincoln said, "B-but please do _something_. I'm going crazy here!"

"I don't like to repeat acts, so I'm trying to think of something original." Lynn explained, "Got it!"

With all the finesse of a master gymnast, Lynn flipped herself around and thrust her rear into Lincoln's face. The scent of her womanhood made Lincoln's head dizzy. He could barely hear the catcalls from his fellow sister-lovers. Lynn kept stroking his dick.

"Well, bro?" she said, "Dig in!"

Before Lincoln could question what he was supposed to do, he felt Lynn's soft and supple lips wrap around his penis. Unsure of what to do, he let instinct drive him. He used his fingers to spread her lips apart and set about nibbling at the soft, pink flesh that he exposed, kissing and licking where he felt he had been too rough. He was rewarded with Lynn bobbing her head faster and faster, taking more and more of his member into her mouth as she went.

It became too much for Luna to bear and she reached under her skirt. Masturbating was so much easier without panties, and she set about massaging her clit. The ecstasy caused her to fall to her knees. She saw Luan film her for a moment, the comedian's face a flushed grin. Leni came over and knelt beside Luna.

"Let me help." Leni said, placing her hand over Luna's. Before the rocker could get over her surprise, their lips met and the rocker melted into a passionate kiss.

Lynn moaned into her blowjob as she came. Lincoln was remarkably skilled for a virgin! She briefly wondered how much porn he must watch, but her mouth filled up with Lincoln's seed. Surprised, but not unpleased with the evidence of her success, Lynn forced herself to swallow. She collapsed in a panting mess, rolling off of her brother.

"Holy mackerel, Linc!" the jock said, head blanking for a moment, "You're still hard?"

"Isn't that normal?" Lincoln asked.

"It's downright miraculous!" Luan giggled.

She looked almost pained, scraping her knees together in frustration. Lincoln noticed Leni and Luna were preoccupied in a make-out session, jilling each other off. He felt his dick harden, almost painfully, at the sight. Lynn was already enjoying her afterglow with Lucy, the two pecking each other with kisses.

"I guess you're next, Luan." Lincoln shrugged.

"Finally!" the comedian hopped onto the bed, tossing the camera to a stunned Lynn and Lucy. She set about removing her clothes.

Lincoln wondered what Luan had planned.

"I know Lynn would be a tough act to follow, but I couldn't hold out for the finale!" Luan giggled as she inserted Lincoln's penis into her pussy, "Mind if I _insert_ a joke here?"

"Ha… ha." Lincoln panted.

"Stiff audience." Luan continued as she rode her brother's cock. Lincoln struggled to laugh as his breath hitched. Luan was so… _tight_.

They continued the process of Luan telling jokes while riding her brother. Some were zingers and Lincoln erupted into rather painful fits of laughter. Some were… not so good. The pleasure escalated and Lincoln couldn't help but laugh more and more, sitting up to laugh better. Luan giggled the whole time. Finally, though, Lincoln reached his limit.

"Getting close, aren't you Linc?" Luan asked, almost at her own limit, "I've got one last joke for you."

"Y-yeah?" he asked.

"Wanna know what my favorite slapstick routine is?" she asked.

"W-what?" Lincoln struggled to hold it in.

"The creampie!" Luan said as she slammed herself down.

Lincoln couldn't hold it in and came while laughing. He wasn't the only one – Luan was beside herself in pleasure and giggles. The two of them nearly rolled off the bed from laughing so hard. Lincoln pulled out, and found himself suddenly tired. Perhaps he couldn't keep this up like he thought he could.

"Hey, girls…" he exhaled, "I think I'm about at my limit."

"Are you sure you don't have enough energy left for just _one more_ go?" Leni asked, stretching Luna's pussy open for Lincoln to see.

Lincoln didn't need to reply – his erect dick was answer enough.

"But Leni, that'll leave you out." Lincoln noted.

"Not if Luna, like, does me while you do her." Leni pointed out, "What do you say, Luna? Feel like paying me back?"

"It'll mess up my face paint, but that's never worried me before." The rocker grinned.

Luna laid down on her back. Leni kneeled over her face, facing Lincoln as he prepared to insert his dick into Luna. He was rewarded by a moaning from under Leni, who was biting her own lip in pleasure. Lincoln began pumping more and more vigorously – only now did he realize he hadn't had to thrust before.

"Lincoln," Leni leaned forward, "kiss me."

Lincoln, being the good brother he was, obliged. While his mouth and hips were occupied, he set his hands to attacking Leni's large breasts, massaging them gently. Their tongues danced in a gliding fashion – and Luna's tongue drilled into her older sister. He continued to thrust into Luna, scarcely noticing Lucy, Lynn and Luan making out on the bed. The camera was somewhere on the pillow, long forgotten by the hormonal young adults.

"I'm getting close." Lincoln warned.

"Get off me, Leni." Luna instructed.

Her face paint was a mess and she knelt beside Leni, their faces close together.

"Wank it, bro." Luna said, "Give us a nice finish."

Lincoln couldn't resist such a tempting offer and set about jerking his dick harder and harder. Finally, with all that was left in him, he came. It was still substantial, though smaller than his previous three orgasms. It was still enough to spray across both of his older sisters' faces. He watched as they kissed and licked the cum off of one another, but any attempt at another erection was hindered by pain.

"I can't go anymore." He said, finally.

"It's alright, bro." Luna said, "You did amazing!"

"I'm just glad Lisa made us those super-effective birth control pills!" Luan said.

"Uh… did we take those?" Lynn furrowed her brow.

"I have them right here!" Leni giggled, producing an unopened box.

"Oh…" the other sisters frowned.

Lincoln wanted to cry, but the sound of the front door opening seized his heart in terror.

"Holy mother of-!" he heard his father yell, "Why does the house smell like sex?!"

Lincoln sighed in resignation. It would not be a fun day at the Loud house, after all.

 **That's it, folks.** **I'm done.** **If this isn't enough for you to get your jollies, you're welcome to write your own erotic incest harem fic.** **I will not be expanding this; sorry.** **Still, thank you all for reading.** **I hope you've enjoyed this… thing.**

 **100% D.O.N.E.**


	12. A Short Reprieve

**I lied.**

"It's dripping out!" Luan whispered, "Oh man, I didn't think it would do _that_!"

"Oh God, oh God, oh God!" Lincoln repeated as he tried to scrub stains out of the carpet.

"Help me with these sheets!" Luna hissed to a stunned Lucy.

"Oh man, we're so dead!" Lynn whined, "I hear them on the stairs!"

Leni opened the window and tried vainly to air out the guest room.

"I, like, have an idea!" she said, at last. That statement alone forced all her siblings to stop what they were doing.

A few minutes later, the door slammed open and very nearly slammed shut. Leni was still wearing her lingerie, but the other siblings were hidden in her closet. For all the world, it looked like Leni had been relieving herself before her parents walked in on her.

"Dad!" the second-oldest Loud sibling yelled, "Like, knock before you just barge in like that!"

"S-sorry, sweetie!" their father sounded astoundingly meek, "Um, you really shouldn't be doing… _that_ while your siblings are in the house."

" _They_ know how to knock." Leni argued.

"Uh…" their dad cleared his throat, "Just get this place cleaned up. It smells awful."

The hidden Loud siblings let out a collective sigh of relief as their father's footsteps disappeared down the stairs.

"Leni," Lincoln said upon exiting the closet, "that was genius!"

"It's not, like, the first time." Leni snorted, "Dad really needs to learn how to knock."

"I've never seen him so… pacified." Lucy noted.

"He has 10 daughters and still doesn't know how to deal with us having hormones." Luna laughed.

"We really should get cleaned up, though." Lynn scratched her nose, "Man, it really does stink."

"I think Lincoln should get first dibs on the shower, today." Luan said, "He definitely deserves it."

This was met with a chorus of agreements and smiles.

"You're really talented, for a thirteen-year-old." Lynn slugged her brother in the arm.

"Thanks, girls." Lincoln sighed, "I could really use a good shower. I'm exhausted."

"So I guess that's a 'no' for any of us joining you?" Luna asked.

"Maybe another time." Lincoln stretched, "It really hurts right now."

"Pshaw." Luan snorted, "Guys are so weak." For some reason Lincoln couldn't understand, this made all the girls laugh.

After checking the hall, they all disappeared to their respective rooms. Lincoln gathered his clothes and towel before heading towards the bathroom. Thankfully, their parents avoided coming back up the stairs. Lincoln enjoyed a nice hot shower, free of interruptions. Sleeping with half your sisters certainly had its perks, he figured.

Still, the situation demanded his mind to shift to darker thoughts. How long until they were caught? What about the fact Luan and Lucy had failed to take Lisa's birth control pills before he'd gone and cum inside them? Lucy was probably safe, being exceptionally young. But Luan? Lincoln hoped it was a safe day, or whatever girls called it.

Finally, in a paradox of relaxation and anxiety, Lincoln left the shower. It had been shorter than he would have liked, out of consideration for his sisters. Lincoln was just too nice a guy.

"Shower's free." The teen notified his sisters, room-by-room so as not to alert their parents that they were taking showers in the middle of the day.

He had walked in on Lucy and Lynn making out, as well as Luna and Luan. The two sights sent a thrill through his body, but fatigue and a slight pain in his groin kept him from getting fully excited. Besides which, he didn't feel like taking a _third_ shower. Their parents would grow suspicious.

"Thanks, Linc." Lynn said, "I think I deserve first crack."

"What?" Lucy almost sounded stunned, "Why?"

" _You_ got first crack at Linc," Lynn crossed her arms, "All I got was an orgasm."

"We _all_ only got one orgasm." Lucy challenged her older sister.

"I didn't get creampied, though." Lynn seemed sad at the fact. Lincoln wasn't sure he'd ever understand his sisters…

"Neither did Leni or Luna, and you don't see them complaining." Lucy pointed out.

"How… do either of you know these terms?" Lincoln asked, slightly disturbed.

"Geeze, Linc." Lynn rolled her eyes, "Guys aren't the only ones who watch porn."

"Ah." The boy furrowed his brow, "Right…"

He left his sisters to hammer out the details of who got first dibs. Leni had quickly snuck in to steal the shower, though, much to Lincoln's amusement. He returned to his room and prepared to read comics, but his mind still raced. This couldn't keep going much longer. Sooner or later, they'd be had, and Lincoln couldn't even imagine the repercussions of that…

Actually, he could.

Ronnie Anne would _never_ speak to him again, if there was even any chance of it to begin with.

Clyde would disassociate with him.

The school – no, the whole town – would decry him and his family as freaks and perverts.

Their parents, and all his sisters, would forever be forced to live in shame.

But it all rested on a single factor: if they were caught. With that in mind, he fell asleep from exhaustion, despite the fact it was only afternoon.

When he woke up, the house was in chaos, but what else was new? Lola and Lana were arguing, again. Lori was finally stopping by for Fall Break – fortunately missing the action, Lincoln noted. Bobby was with her; huge surprise. Aside from Leni, all his lovers were sequestered in their rooms, most likely venting their remaining sexual frustration on each other. Now well-rested, Lincoln could once again join in, if he had the mind to.

"I hear you performed admirably.' Lisa's voice broke his thoughts.

"Y-yeah, so they say." Lincoln blushed. Their parents were literally in the next room, and she wanted to talk about it?

"Don't be so modest," Lisa said, "From all their accounts, you've accomplished what few boys your age could physically accomplish. Very interesting. The video footage was impressive, to say the least."

So, _that_ was why Luan had her camera.

"A bit of advice, though, as a concerned sibling," Lisa lisped, "take it easy. Maybe only… engage with one sibling a day? The human body is quite resilient, but too much stress can break even the strongest of bodies."

"Noted." Lincoln nodded. There was no way he was ever doing an orgy again. It had been fun, but exhausting and almost painful.

"Leni wanted to talk to you, by the way." Lisa added, "She seemed a little upset."

"Oh, alright." The teenager said, "I'll go talk to her."

He walked over to his older sister – she did look down, once he was closer.

"Hey Leni.' He waved, "What's wrong?"

"We, like, need to talk." She said, dragging him away to Lincoln's room – the guest room was occupied by Lori and Bobby, thankfully quiet. Once they were secluded, she almost burst out into tears. "Things will never be the same!"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa!" Lincoln held his hands up, defensively, "Where is this coming from? What'll never be the same?"

"Our relationship." Leni sniffed, "We used to be such good siblings; now we can _never_ go back to that."

Well, she wasn't wrong.

"Are you not happy with our new relationship?" Lincoln asked. Oddly, her opinion was really important – almost as important as her happiness.

"I am." She smiled, wiping her eyes, "I'm, like, really happy. You're a great guy. Still, I can't shake the feeling I've lost a brother."

"I'll still be there for you as a brother." Lincoln smiled, "When you're down, I'll be there to pick you up. I'll still be there for your fashion shows, and our spa dates."

"Thanks, Linc." Leni sniffed, "It's all just so weird… You probably don't think that, though, being so smart."

"No, it's definitely weird." Lincoln chuckled, "And you're smarter than you give yourself credit for, Leni."

Leni smiled before leaning in and gently kissing Lincoln on the lips. She pulled away with a faint blush creeping across her face.

"You're a really cool guy, Linc." She said, opening his door, "Never change."

After she was gone, Lincoln touched his lips in a stupor. Then his mind remembered the problems plaguing him.

What was he going to do about it all?

 **Don't expect much out of this fic.** **Infrequent updates, at best.** **I'm just not sure how to end it, really.** **Still, it's popular and, going back and reading it, it's not… awful.**


	13. That's All Folks

**Regretfully, I must inform you this fic is dead.** **I thought I could keep it going, but I can't come up with a way to write it.** **It's open to anyone who wants to write sequels or fics inspired by it.** **I hoped you enjoyed it, up until this point.** **Apologies for people looking forward to it.**

 **On the upside, expect a not-so-dirty** ** _Loud House_** **fic in the future.**

 **Thanks for reading.**


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